What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
