My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
