Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
