Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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