Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
