My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.