Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
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I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.