butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.