i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
