Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
