Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
