No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize