I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
