There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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