i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
