one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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