Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
