i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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