I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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