This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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