if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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