i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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