In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
