I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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