Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
