Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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