if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
