She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dont even know how to be here
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
