His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drake has all the answers
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
