one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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