Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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