and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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