Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
