If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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