you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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