Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
