I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nicole vs. Life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
