if i can run in heels then i can drive
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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