the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize