It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
