I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize