Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
