Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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