I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
