She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
