Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
