yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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