He had one of those small greek statue penises
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
