don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
