They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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