So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i have herpe
just one?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize