the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize