So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
