so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
