Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And then my night got REAL pukey
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
