I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
