It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize