Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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