Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize