Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
